What Would President Obama's Version of The Gettysburg Address Be?

    Abraham Lincoln and Barack Obama -- Two politicians from Illinois separated by 150 years -- How different would be their "Gettysburg Address"?
    President Abraham Lincoln on Nov.19,1863 gave a short yet profound address at the dedication of the Gettysburg  Soldier's National Cemetery which enshrined his vision for a greater America arising out of the conflict of the Civil War.  What would be President Barack Obama's vision for America if he gave the "Gettysburg Address"?  Given our current president's political track record, I submit the following spin-speech:

    Four score and seven years ago some rich white men of the greedy 1% got the idea that they could make more money if they didn't have to pay taxes to Europe.  They convinced the working class people to go to war and die for their vision of change.  They talked about liberty, but really meant the chance to exploit the workers.  They talked about equality, but kept slaves.

    Their discriminatory system has now broken down and we are a divided people, still asking the working class to die to bring about change.  I stand here at this cemetery dedication, having to deal with the divisions I've inherited from the failed leadership of the past.  It now falls on my shoulders to lead this country forward toward genuine equality.  The Union soldiers who fought here were fortunate to have the full backing of my Federal government.  They would not have won the tepid victory of this past July had it not been for the roads that led them here, had it not been for the tireless devotion of the Federal administrators coordinating the war effort from Washington DC, and it not been for my grand vision of where we must go as a nation.

    Have no doubt that change is coming!  My leadership will bring about setting free all those enslaved in the southern plantation system!  I will give them a new birth of freedom!  The evil serpent of states rights will be crushed under the heel of absolute federal power!!  Those enslaved will be given the freedom to work under the empowering supervision of federal regulations to rebuild those plantations into new and glorious communities where wise compassionate federal supervisors will lead them gently through every stage of their lives -- guiding them away from obesity through federally planned meals, providing family planning through free contraceptives and free abortions, educating them into becoming compliant contented workers supportive of my Federal government!

    Even now under my leadership, the compassionate elites of Washington DC are enabling the working class people already within my sphere of control to grasp the truth that their only hope for happiness comes from total Federal supervision.  And I promise you this day -- at this cemetery dedication service for these unfortunates who had to die to end the dream of the greedy 1% -- I promise you that this nation will become greater than Europe!  I am creating a new and greater Federal government composed of all the people living under federally mandated harmony, supported by the people's wealth distributed through proper federal channels, for the good of all the compliant people supervised by my wise progressive federal regulators.  Yes, the world will quickly forget the dead buried in this cemetery, BUT the world will never forget the wisdom and goodness of MY grand progressive vision!  FORWARD!!

    Times have changed.  President Abraham Lincoln understood truth and justice.  President Barack Obama only understands Chicago politics.

    It's called political satire.  Freedom of speech hasn't been taken away . . . yet.